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Brown’s Baby Blues November 30, 2006

Posted by scartissuemark in The Missing Building Blocks - A Life in my Lungs.
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‘For those who have heard the news of British MP Gordon Brown and his wife having a child diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis and have subsequently done a search and come across my blog, i have the below statement for you’…

My Mum was very interested in the news tonight and told me of the diagnosis. Obviously little Fraser is gonna have trouble with his illness much like all of us do, but i’d like to share some insight that hopefully will inform everyone that CF is not all doom and gloom.

1. If Fraser attends the Great Ormond Street Hospital as i did, he’ll be treated by some lovely poeple, meet and interact with other sufferers, play games, and have fun in there.

2. There are many CF people who do not present with some or all of the known symtoms, such as having to take Enzymes with meals, or even frequent chest infections. This can lead to a great state of health throughout childhood and adulthood as some only attend hospitals once or twice a year and lead “normal” lives.

3. NOW is probably the best time to be born with CF. In 21 years, when Fraser is my age, he will have available two decades of new research and medications and treatments. I had and elder brother who died before i was born with CF, he died at age 8. Because of new treatments, funds and awareness, i, like many other have liveda much longer life than those before us.

And future generations will live much longer than i will, which isn’t great news for me, but hey, ‘the children are our future’…


“Call Me Snake!” November 6, 2006

Posted by scartissuemark in Composite Artwork, South Park-esque.
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I never got around to posting these a while back so here goes…

Arrival Escape From LA Suited Up Escape From LA

“My Guns” Escape from LA Basketball Escape From LA


The above character designs are partially my own (photoshop) and a website’s web app…

I would like to Thank the creative people at http://www.sp-studio.de/ for their great software which made these “Snake Plissken” characters possible.


I’M BACK October 31, 2006

Posted by scartissuemark in My Life.
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So, I didn’t end up going back in on the 16th, but after no improvements and a little bout of shivers, i had to go back in as a patient the following week, and am so glad i did.

Not only did i get better but i am now back to my regular health line.

It was such a scare that i’m gonna double my efforts at home with my treatments. I couldn’t even walk to the bathroom on O2 without losing my breath for ten minutes. You live like that and you damn well appreciate the health that you had, and that i now have back.

I’M BACK!!!!

I’m back in spirit, my body may not come back though. October 13, 2006

Posted by scartissuemark in The Missing Building Blocks - A Life in my Lungs.
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After three weeks of feeling terrible in hospital, i am finally home, now merely feeling bad…

This was my worst admission ever. At first my problems were a chest infection from my usual bug (pseudomonas) and my Oxygen saturations in my blood were low and even lower at night which is what was causing my headaches. I have had to be placed on an oxygen supply, this happens 24/7 now. This is because my lungs are too scarred or weak or full of phlegm to breath in and supply my heart and brain with O2, this causes struggling of my organs especially my heart.
I had always associated going on Oxygen with pre-death, everyone i know/knew who was on Oxygen has died. After oxygen treatment there is the ‘Bipap’ breathing machine’, transplantation and that’s it, no further treatments are available.

As the admission progressed i felt better, then began getting high temperatures, the chills, and the the sweats, i then started feeling unwell again and am only a little better now that i’m home. I have to go back up to the hospital on Monday and may have to go back in or change my IV antibiotics to do here at home. One thing i’m concerned about is that this is as well as i can get now, that i’ve dropped a step in my health, cannot go back and just have to get used to it.

I went a little stir crazy in there after the second week, i had my music, my DVD’s and my psp with me, as well as some books i’ve been meaning to read and yet i couldn’t concentrate on anything, it feels better being at home but i think i’m a little depressed, I don’t get any enjoyment from anything around the house that i used to, except my comfy bed.

Ill fated return September 17, 2006

Posted by scartissuemark in My Life.
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Well what stared as headaches in the mornings has now becoming a full ill-feeling chest infection.

Looks like i’m off to hospital in a few days. Two weeks of boring, tiring work and terrible food, but at least i’ll feel healthy for a fortnight or so afterward.

Too many “Super” average people in movies September 17, 2006

Posted by scartissuemark in Movie Reviews.
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Damn you Wachowski Brothers and Joss whedon!

You made the idea of average people defying gravity and performing dance-martial-arts too easy… In the matrix they are not ‘really there’ and thus it’s in the power of their mind. When you get bitten by a vampire you instantly know karate and don’t get hurt when punched. Ever since these came out every protagonist in action films seems invincibly powerful.

I am tired of seeing the characters of blockbusters and thrillers, and action films so unrealistic. Arnie didn’t pump his body so hard to win, to be replaced by characters who can do triple-backflips-onto-springboard-(with no board), then get into complicated punching-and-kicking-dancing-moves while being an expert gunfighter and sword-fighter and-leaping twentyfeet-into-the-air and landing without so much as a pain in the ankle.

Here is a small list of unnatural ‘super’ average people…

  • Charlie’s Angels
  • Elektra
  • Bulletproof Monk
  • Resident Evil
  • Serenity
  • Aeon Flux
  • Underworld
  • Hero
  • House of Flying Daggers

The future of Movies (or how i learned to worry about a films story over the actors publicity) September 12, 2006

Posted by scartissuemark in Movie Reviews.
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When i sit down to watch a great film that i have as part of my collection, i know two things.. The story, setting or characters have something that i am interested in and, depending on the genre, the actors portray their characters well enough for me to have enjoyed their performance.

Something unfortunate is happening to a great art, that i hope will not continue at the rate it has been. That something, is actors lives overshadowing the story and characters they play.

With communication and digital lifestyles the way they are, we are prone to information that we sometimes we really don’t need to know.

‘Celebrity’ is ruining the stories being put to film…

When a movie is released only film critics and specialist reviewers report on the film and it’s merits itself. Many of the film reviews the public see are more focused on the relationships or troubles or scandals of the actors lives, rather that the characters the actors play.

As an example, when “Something of the worlds” and “Something begins” were released i learned more than i could care about, concerning the actors who starred in the Films. “Mr and Mrs something” was overshadowed by the relationship issues of the actors.

i spend 90 minutes + watching a film because i want to watch an interesting, thought-provoking story, or a Laugh-out-loud comedy that’ll have a spark of meaning, or i hope to see the good guy beat the bad guy, with lots of gratuitous action. I don’t want to start the journey with such a negative, positive or any kind of perspective of the cast. I don’t care about them, i care about the characters they play and knowing too much non-sense about the actors ruins they way you watch the film itself.

As a scriptwriter, one of my worst fears in getting a story that i’ve worked hard on produced, is it being set aside because the lead actor is in the tabloids and made to be more publicised than the story.

If i manage to survive, this may be what is in store. September 9, 2006

Posted by scartissuemark in My Self.
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One day, after living many more years than i expected to, i may look back to all of the years of worry, concern, fear, and endless thought and realise that’s why i look like this…

Mark Hawkins

The Idiocy of Warner Bros. September 9, 2006

Posted by scartissuemark in Movie Reviews.
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When i went to see “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” in the cinema i was very pleased at how good it was, and how it showed the darker atmosphere and more adult tones that the book had. However i, like many fans of the books i’m sure, were disappointed to have not seen the parts concerning the history of the Marauders map, and other scenes from the book that could’ve been integrated without complicating the movie adaption.

As it was, there weren’t many scenes left out. But when the considerably longer book ‘Goblet of Fire’ was adapted and released, there were larger and more essential plot points missing that convoluted the story, as well as scenes like the Quidditch world cup, the weasly’s meeting the dursley’s that were passed over because of time issues.

When it came time for the DVD release of “Goblet of Fire” i had hopeful expectations that because of time constraints in the cinema, but not at home, the studios would of course release an extended edition as was done with the Lord of the rings trilogy. Alas the idiocy of the studios became apparent, They not only had missed a great opportunity to please the fans that were disappointed in the missing scenes but they had had the opportunity to make more money off of the “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire extended edition” that would’ve sold very well.

Having been following the news of the upcoming “Harry Potter and The order of the Phoenix” i am again sorry to hear that the Quidditch scenes have been cut. In the fourth book Quidditch isn’t featured at Hogwarts because of the tournament, only the world cup had the game. In ‘Order of the Phoenix’ there is a large part of the overall story that features Ron Weasly joining the team to prove himself as something more that just famous Harry Potter’s friend and reading it, it is good to see Ron having something of his own to be proud of…

So it seems that this whole arc is going to be cut, and if the studio follows their current business, we fans will not be able to see this on DVD either.

Pondering the beauty of what Life holds September 7, 2006

Posted by scartissuemark in My Life.
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Yesterday i went to Harefield hospital for my six-monthly Transplant assessment. I have been on the TX list for a double lung transplant since July 2005, since then i have had one false alarm and a false alarm phone call.

Over the past few weeks i have been indoors almost all of the time, i think it’s for this reason that my nervous demeanor for the appointment turned to a peaceful calm as soon as we hit the road in the ambulance transport. While driving up the high street i stared out of the window at all the people going about their lives, I don’t know if it was the ambulance, the sunshine or the music in my iPod, but looking at them just walking and talking made me see a real beauty to life that i’ve missed out on for a while. Once we hit the motorway i was blissfully happy, this being an odd occurrence for me. We drove fast and i felt mesmerised by the whizzing lines of the tarmac surface of the road. The noise, or hum you might say, was refreshing and took me back to childhood memories of falling asleep in the back of my aunties car, hearing the tyres roll over the gravel roads of Limerich, Ireland. The scenery almost made me weep, the countryside, the green and yellow fields as far as i could see, the cattle, the farm buildings, it all illuminated what life offers. There was a large lake on the way and small neighbourhoods of old-fashion cobblestoned, cream painted houses and pubs with ponds in the rear with walkway bridges. At the hospital after the boring tests i ate lunch on a bench staring out at the field behind the hospital. It was all so relaxing and calming.

I found myself thinking to my contentuous dreamlife… Back in Ireland, in a house like my granddads (only a little more modern), gravel roads, open spaces of lush land, where you can hear visitors minutes away. A garage holding a ’66 Chevrolet Corvette in white with a red leather interior and a black sleek Suzuki motorcycle. A sofa in the field behind the house. A cabin with a desk so i can be inspired as i write. A beautiful, loving wife and baby daughter to share it all with.

That’s my dream

As for the rest of my TX assesment, my tests and stats have remained very solid and all is well unitl i get the call or…